Category: FOR HER

The BIG, FUN, PEOPLE-LOVING event!

Community event. Open to everyone.  We are showcasing the amazing services available to the community for men, women, and families who need them. 

When: May 4 12:30-4:30

Where: Union High School Stadium


Schedule:

  • 12:30 opening with speakers and band
  • 1:30 simulcast starts with Focus on the Family 
  • 3:30 closing speakers and band

(More details to come!)

During the event, the following fun, free activities will be available for everyone (especially children):

  • Bouncy houses
  • Scavenger hunts 
  • Obstacle courses
  • Giant 6 ft soccer ball game
  • Frisbee contests
  • Throwing contest 
  • Art sections
  • Face painting and more

Want a table?

Table/chairs provided – $0.00 to $300. Show the community the services you offer! (Pregnancy resource centers, adoption, fostering, medical clinics/services, mobile ultrasounds, churches, community groups, and more).

Email info@communityspiritmagazine.com to reserve your table!

Want to volunteer?

We’re looking for loads of volunteers to host games, sell beverages (cans/bottles), and more. Send us your preferences for areas and we will try to accommodate. 

Email info@communityspiritmagazine.com to volunteer!

Exhibitor List (Coming Soon!)

Written by Andrea Stephens

I’d been on mission trips before, but this one was different.

Having recently been given the opportunity to write a column in Focus On The Family’s BRIO Magazine for teen girls, I was invited to be part of their annual mission trip. That year they were headed to Costa Rica. Hmmmm. Sharing the gospel, leading a team of eager young women who loved Jesus, and getting to experience a different culture—I was in!

The plan was to have the girls, coming from all over the U.S., meet in Miami for several days of training. Then on chartered planes, all 250 of us would fly to San Jose,
(I thought organizing 250 excited teenager girls sounded like the challenge of a lifetime until several years later when the group had grown to 850!). Right after the early morning breakfast buffet, the girls were divided into twelve teams and taught choreography to a powerful 25-minute drama presentation of the gospel called Spellbound. They also had daily sessions of language learning and the opportunity to fine-tune their personal testimony of God’s work in their lives which they would be sharing at their various ministry sites around San Jose.

My main assignment while in Miami was to encourage my team during rehearsals, make sure everyone had called home at least once, help finalize costumes, and practice Spanish phrases. The days were long and rushed but worth every second once we touched down on Costa Rician soil, ready to tell others of the love of God and saving grace of Jesus. I was excited that these precious girls were about to be obedient to Jesus’ command to go into all the world and preach the gospel (Mark 16:15). Each morning I led team devotions, then getting on our knees, we asked the Lord to lead us, guide us, and grant us favor as we presented the drama at parks, schools, and open market squares. We asked the Holy Spirit to be at work in the hearts of those watching the drama and, in our hearts, as well.

Each night, at the close of an adventure filled day, all the teams gathered together to share stories and to thank the Lord for all He was doing. The worship offered during these times was very genuine. Coupled with my private morning devo time, I began to experience a stirring deep inside of me—an unsettled feeling that I had felt before. Call it a yearning, a feeling of discontent, a touch of heart ache. Being on a mission trip where I was able to spend extra time in the Word and prayer drew my attention to the stirring. At home, with the busyness of life, it is both easier and necessary to push down the thoughts and feelings that are trying to rise to the surface; the very things that the Holy Spirit is wanting to use to get our attention about something. Well, this was one of my somethings. So, I asked the Lord to explain this to me. And he did.

His answer came the next afternoon. We returned from ministry a little early so the teams had free-time until dinner. Ah! I welcomed the extra time to recharge alone in my room. I had been reading in the Psalms, so I picked up my Bible to continue looking into these/this collection of thoughts and prayers as expressed through their author, King David.
I was reading Psalm 63 when I got it. This Psalm talks about seeking God, thirsting for Him, and yearning for Him. Seeking, thirsting, yearning. Another word to express how David was feeling is the word longing. David was longing for God. This is when the Holy Spirit opened my eyes to what was really stirring around deep inside of me. I was feeling what I was feeling because I was actually…homesick. Homesick?

The idea took me by surprise.

Yet it explained the days when I felt out of sorts, not quite comfortable whether I’m at work, in line at Starbucks, rushing through Walmart or reheating leftovers for dinner. I knew this was more than just needing a long soak in a hot tub with lavender scented bath salts. It would easily be mislabeled as loneliness or interpreted as depression. But those words did not accurately describe what I felt. These were times when it feels like something is missing and I just long for more. Now I understood. I was longing for my heavenly home. Don’t get me wrong—I’m not talking about an eerie death wish. I’m talking about a deep longing to be in that place where we, as believers and children of God, will experience belonging, satisfaction, wholeness, total acceptance, and of course, a love like no other.
When we have developed an intimate personal relationship with Jesus—the kind that goes beyond Sunday morning casual Christianity—our longing for home makes total sense. Girlfriend let’s do a quick review: We have been transferred from the Kingdom of Darkness into the Kingdom of Light. Yes, out of the Dominion of Satan into the Kingdom of God. We have become new creations—made new in our spirit which now houses the Holy Spirit, which now makes us children of the most High, ever-present, ever-loving Father! Right now we are citizens of Heaven, our real home. We are God’s ambassadors here on this earth from that moment on. We are on assignment, getting our orders from headquarters, fulfilling God’s purpose for us to love others and tell them about Jesus. (Colossians 1:13, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Philippians 3:20, 2 Corinthians 5:20, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, Matthew 22:37-39, Mark 16:15).

So this longing in me was not a bad thing, it was a good thing; not a negative feeling, but a positive one. Have you felt the longing? Perhaps you chalked it up to PMS or your biorhythms being off or a general dissatisfaction with life. If so, knowing it is a desire to be more deeply connected with your Heavenly Father is very freeing. And very good.
So what do we do to help satisfy the longing until the day our Heavenly Father calls us home? We spend more time in the Word, pray without ceasing, surround ourselves with worship music, serve Him by serving others, fellowship with other believers—all things that help us keep our hearts and minds set on Jesus so that we will have peace for our longing. And we choose to rejoice in the Lord always and give thanks in everything (Philippians 4:6-9). Yes, I have learned to be content and grateful for the stirring inside of me. It is confirmation that I am connected to my Heavenly Father and that my longing will one day be fulfilled when I live in my heavenly home where I will spend eternity.

None of this would be possible without the sacrifice that Jesus made on my behalf by going to the cross. He willingly chose to die a painful criminal’s death in order to break the power of sin and death, to pay the penalty I could never pay for myself, to provide the beautiful gifts of salvation, forgiveness and grace, and to open the door for me to be in direct relationship with my Father-God. Because of God’s incredible love, He would have done all of this just for me. But He didn’t. He did it for you, too.

This month as we celebrate Jesus’ resurrection let’s also rejoice that we experience a sense of longing every now and then.

Let it be a reminder that because we have accepted Jesus into our lives as Savior and Lord, we are now the children of God. Our culture teaches that we are all God’s children yet the scripture is clear that Jesus gives us the right to become children of God. We are all God’s creations, yet we become His children through Jesus. (John 1:12). In God’s selected timing, we are children who will one day be home where that longing will be turned into fullness of joy. (Psalm 16: 11).

Written by Andrea Stephens

My puffy brown parka is being moved to the back of the closet. My gloves—the red, the lime, and the black ones—await their turned to be tucked away in a drawer.  My boots, which are all black except for the chocolate and ivory imitation snake-skin cowboy boots that I had to buy once I moved back to Oklahoma, are being returned to the big suitcase that stores them during the warmer months (my creative way of dealing with small closets).

Yes, it is time to shed the winter outerwear and prepare for the spring months.  I look forward to leaving the winter days behind and enjoying longer days of sunlight, warm breezes, and the first sighting of purple crocus and yellow daffodils. (I love that God programmed these two flowers to be among the first to bloom. Purple and yellow are opposites on the color wheel.  When placed together, they create a strong visual pop that is energizing to our senses.  Our Father knew we would need a little pop at this point in our lives.)

Are you looking forward to this change of seasons?  Perhaps you are so busy with the things of life that you aren’t especially tuned into the shifting of seasons.  Or maybe you are one of the thousands of women who are emotionally moved by the grey skies and leafless trees.  Women are especially sensitive to seasonal changes, meaning that the unpleasant weather happening around us can greatly affect what is happening inside of us.  Shorter days, cloudy skies, freezing rain, cold winds—can contribute to felling down, sadness, lack of motivation, and even sensing distance from God.

The official name for this is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) but in layman’s terms it is having a bad case of the blues!  An ongoing dose of blah.  Of course, there are other things that can land us in the blues like never-ending laundry, figuring out dinner again, a newborn that refuses to nurse, an argument with a friend, being laid off, so many possibilities.  Ugh.  Life can just be hard, right? 

The good news for us is the truth that this is one of the very reasons Jesus came to earth.  On that pivotal day in the temple when Jesus stood and read from the scroll, the text announced His purpose which included setting free the oppressed, downtrodden, heavy-hearted, and well, just plain blue!  (Luke 4:18 – 19).  Jesus came Himself to rescue us from the everyday blues.

Stephen S. ILardi, PhD, researcher and author of The Depression Cure: The 6-Step Program to Beat Depression without Drugs, has developed a clinically-proven program he calls Therapeutic Lifestyle Change or TLC.  When applied, people successfully come out of the blues. 

ILardi shares that TLC has lots of benefits.  Not only do you boost your feel-good potential, you might also experience “weight loss, increased energy, lower blood pressure, improved cardiac health, better immune function, reduced inflammation, greater mental clarification, enhanced sense of well-being.”  Those are awesome side effects!

So, let’s take a look.  Here are his six suggestions, along with a few of my own (I’m quite experienced with battling the blues).

1.  Eat to Beat the Blues.  While increasing fruits and veggies combined with cutting back on all things sugar is highly important, so is eating foods high in Omega-3 fatty acids such as salmon, tuna, walnuts, chia and flaxseeds.  This benefits your brain as well as your body.  Dr. ILardi recommends taking an Omega-3 supplement with a 2:1 ration of EPA:DHA. (Check with your doctor before taking any new supplement).

2.  Get moving.  Physical exercise releases your body’s natural feel-good hormone called endorphins.  If you are not used to exercising, start with simple heel lifts and marching in place, then a brisk walk outside or at the indoor mall.  Work up to brisk walking, biking (outdoor or stationary), pilates, or whatever you will enjoy.

3.  Get lost in a healthy activity. Doing something that keeps your mind occupied on down days will help lift your mood.  Try working a puzzle or a word search game, playing solitaire, baking something to share with a neighbor or reading the latest Karen Kingsbury novel.

4.  Soak up the rays.  Sunlight exposure is a definite blues blaster. There are special sun lamps available that are helpful during the cold dark days.  Try creating more light around your house—flip on some switches, open the curtains.  Light some candles and enjoy their warm glow.  While you sit near a window, think about the super sunny days of summer that will be here soon.            

5.  Be with people—especially other believers.  Social interaction can lift your morale (being alone and isolated can lend itself to feeling blue).  Do what works for you—invite friends over, visit family members, go to the movies, join a gym, volunteer at your church or a local non-profit.  Even window shopping at the mall at least gets you out and about—just beware of using a spending spree to help yourself feel better.                        

6.  Get the right amount of sleep. Deep sleep is needed for our minds and bodies to stay balanced. So, do your best to get the recommended 8 hours per night. However, if you are finding that your favorite activity on grey days is staying in bed all day, we need to talk!

7.  Scripture says to take your thoughts captive—yes, cuff them, lock them in jail, and throw away the key!  (2 Corinthians 10:5) Then we need to change or redirect our down ways of thinking. King David, a famous Old Testament personality, identified with feeling down and with choosing to refocus his attention.  In Psalm 42:11 (NLT) he recognized that he felt down in the dumps, that he didn’t understand it, “Why am I discouraged?  Why is my heart so sad?”  But then he encouraged himself in the Lord when he said, “I will put my hope in God!  I will praise him again—my Savior and my God!”  David not only had a case of the blues, he was trying hard to understand it.  Ever been there?  Redirecting your thoughts and using positive self-talk will help.  Putting your hope in God is also key.  Hope is confident expectation of what God is going to do.

8.  Read, Pray and Praise.  These are the three most important keys to overcoming the blues.  God’s Word is spirit and life.  It is alive and active.  Reading the scriptures early in the morning can set the tone for the remainder of the day.  Prayer does the same thing.  Talking to God about how you feel, what you are going through, what you need will lighten your heart as you choose to trust Him.  Listen quietly for His response which usually comes in a still, small, voice.  Add praise—the best blues buster ever.  Whether you love traditional hymns, modern worship music, or a combo of both, make praise part of your daily routine.  Sing, dance, kneel, raise your hands, just do it.

9.  Hahahahaha!  Do or watch something that makes you laugh.  There is scientific proof that laughter helps people heal physically and emotionally. Even scripture says that a joyful heart is like medicine to your overall well-being (Proverbs 17:22).  So, what makes you laugh?  Get more of it!

This is a practical approach to getting out of the winter blahs.  It helps lift and helps prevent the blues.  TLC has physical and psychological benefits for everyone!  Simply put, getting out of the blues is about taking care of yourself.  Often times women put themselves last on the care list with husband, kids, job, errands, etc. coming first.  You need some TLC as well.  A little Therapeutic Lifestyle Change will not only be good for you but for those you care for.  You’ve heard the expression put your own oxygen mask on first.  This is not only important in the case of cabin pressure change on an airplane but for you as well.  It is necessary for your role as women to take time for yourself; to grab bits of time that come open during our week to workout, meet a friend for coffee, attend bible study or prayer group, take a nap, drink a protein smoothie, even a 20-minute chair massage at the mall—one of my favorite self-care treats.  You are worth it and those you care for think so, too.

Note:  If you or a loved one is experiencing a severe case of the blues, it might be clinical depression.  Reach out to your family doctor and to a Christian therapist for help.  Depression is treatable with various therapies, possible medication, and lots of TLC!

If you are in need of a therapist, we do recommend Christian Family Institute www.christianfamilyinsitute.com at 918.745.0095 or Counseling Services of Tulsa www.counselingservicesoftulsa.com at 918.574.2722.  Let them know Community Spirit sent you!


Written by Andrea Stephens

She was sitting in the front passenger side of their SUV when she and her husband graciously volunteered to play Uber and give me a ride to the airport. Seeing her from the side only, it was her hands that I noticed first. They looked different. Didn’t they? How weird that the backs of her hands caught my attention, but they did. They were thinner. I could tell because the veins were more prominent.  

She had definitely been sticking to Weight Watchers (Wellness Wins) and it was working. Oh, I wish that were true for me! In spite of the 200 0-point foods and the very cool app that tracks your progress and gives you the point score for nearly every single food in the grocery store and item on a menu, I fell backwards off the Weight Watchers wagon at the first sight of the Daylight Donuts in the office break room. I can’t fully blame the doughy sweetness for the weight I had gained since starting this new job, but they were my Monday morning delight. Ugh!

Paris! She just got back from Paris—as in France, not Texas. The land of the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, the Notre Dame Cathedral, the fragrant springtime cherry blossoms, and the love that is in the air (though I’m guessing that is an overrated belief). How I’d love to see Leonardo de Vinci’s Mona Lisa or Claude Monet’s Water Lilies or Pablo Picasso’s Girl Before a Mirror. As a former art student, who still likes to dabble in oils, it’s always been a dream to see the master’s original works. Oh, I wish I could go there! Yet the cost of a trip like that is hefty. Ugh!

I listened intently while she told about the latest book she was reading in preparation for writing her dissertation (that mega paper required to obtain a doctorate degree). She explained the verse she had selected, described how she studied it in the Greek language to dig out more meaning, and how it fit into the theme of her paper. I was intrigued. Oh, I wish I could do that! I love to study God’s Word and learn. I finished my Master of Divinity degree two years ago. The idea of continuing on toward a doctorate degree excited me. I felt it calling my name. But how?  Where would I find the time to make it happen? Ugh!

As you’ve read my wish list, did you think about what’s on your wish-list? Any place to visit, class to take, healthy eating goal to set? Maybe your wish list has a Christ-like characteristic like patience or unconditional love that you want to be more intentional about developing.  Does it include a relationship that needs mended? Maybe it’s a homeless shelter where you’ve been meaning to volunteer or that mission trip that tugs on your heart year after year? Maybe you’ve thought about adopting or fostering a child?

While the things we wish for might be good, there is one major problem: wishing! We can wish all we want but as we know, wishing will get us where? Nowhere! Wishing doesn’t move us toward turning a wish into a reality. If desires stay at the wish-level they have the potential to create disappointment. Focusing on what we don’t have, don’t do, or won’t become could keep us from seeing all of the wonderful things we are blessed with. Wish-level thinking can also threaten to cause us to slip into a poor me state of mind, which leads to moping around instead of getting motivated to take action.

Whatever your wish or desire, here are a few things to ask yourself before moving ahead.

  1. Is this a pure desire or is it fueled by one of the three tactics the enemy uses to pull me away from the things of God: the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, the pride of life. Check your motivation.
  2. Is this all about me or can it be repurposed into something that will advance the Kingdom? Check your purpose.
  3. Will this develop me into a better version of myself—leading me closer to becoming the person God created me to be? Check your goal.
  4. Does it glorify God? Check your focus.
  5. How is your peace? While praying about your desire/wish do you sense the Holy Spirit’s peace? Colossians 3:15 tells us to let the peace of Christ be the ruler in our hearts—like an umpire—He calls the shots. I like how the Good News Bible puts it: Let the peace of Christ guide you in the decisions you make. And the Amplified: Let the peace of Christ [the inner calm of one who walks daily with Him] be the controlling factor in your hearts [deciding and settling questions that arise]. This Holy Spirit peace thing is a really big deal. Check it.

Based on the answers to these questions, adjust your wish accordingly.

Now, stop wishing and do something about it. This will get you started:

  1. Pray.
  2. Share your desire with a trusted person.  Choose someone who might help you think through the pros and cons or who will give you honest feedback.
  3. Create a plan.
  4. Pray. How’s your peace? Feeling anxious or excited?
  5. Set specific goals. Prioritize them.
  6. Break each goal into doable parts.
  7. Pray. Listen for the Holy Spirit’s yes, no, or wait.
  8. Set a target date.
  9. Pray.
  10. Get started.

Forget wishing.

Something things you have to make happen—as long as you are in God’s plan for your life. Remember, the main way you know is to follow after His peace and review the 10-point checklist.

As for me, I said goodbye to the Monday morning donuts at the office and went back on Weight Watchers. Taking care of myself and honoring this temple of the Holy Spirit outweighs a donut splurge. We so easily forget the biblical teaching about our bodies being the actual temple or home of the Holy Spirit, whom God sent to actually live inside of us, is actually TRUE! (Check out 1 Corinthians 6:19).

I have started a Let’s go to Paris fund—but only after I checked into adding a Kingdom purpose to the trip. I contacted CRU—one of my favorite international ministries—and learned that I could be involved with campus ministry while in Paris. Perfect! I can enrich my soul by experiencing the beauty of the God-given talents of the master artists and enrich the souls of those who are new in their walk with Christ.

And about that doctorate degree? I applied to several seminaries with plans to start classes in the fall. I will have a total of 5 years to take the classes, then write my dissertation. I love a writing challenge, so I’m in!

Wishing didn’t make any of these things happen. Prayer and action did. I know that if I can do it, you can do it! Happy wishing and happy creating new realities in your life.


Finding a Way Around The Temptation

Written by Andrea Stephens

Life has had me living in several different states over the years.  

With each new location, I have had to look for the positives with the goal of learning to embrace where I was living.  This didn’t come naturally; I seriously had to challenge myself.  This was especially true when I moved to a small town in South Louisiana.  They talked with such a drawl.  They referred to “making” groceries and cooking up a pot of red beans and rice specifically on Mondays since it was cleaning day and they wouldn’t have time to fuss with dinner.  I was missing the palm trees from my last location.  So, I purposely learned about bald Cypress trees and the Spanish moss that hung from them.  I also took a liking to nearby New Orleans with its jazz music, beignets (French donuts), and artists around Jackson Square.  However, one event caught my eye—the Crescent City Classic.  This well known 10K was not just any hometown race, it was one that welcomed costumes, marching bands, and dressed up dogs.  The route would take us through neighborhoods that promised to be lined with festive folks cheering us on from their front porch swings.

Now, I am not a runner, but the idea of walking the 6.2 miles with a group of friends just to enjoy the experience sounded perfect.  We got signed up, dressed up, lined up, and took off at the blast of the starter’s gun.  I was excited, full of laughter, snapping selfies and pictures of the craziness going on around me.  As I strolled along, friends at my side, a little something started to bother me.  I was being passed.  And not just by the more athletic types but by women with strollers and dogs in tutus.  The bothering increased.  Then a cackling couple of elderly ladies wearing PJs, fuzzy slippers, and big pink rollers in their hair went flying by!  That was it.  No more.  Something in me snapped and the leisurely fun walk with my friends went out the window.  I just could not allow myself to be passed any longer by anyone not sporting a serious pair of Nike’s.  I quickened my step, ditched my slow companions, and kicked it into high gear.  To my left, to my right—I was now watching for anyone who even thought they might make their way to my side.  Never mind the blisters I could feel forming on my toes and the pain in my right knee (I did mention that I’m not a runner, right?), I forged ahead until my very winded self crossed that finish line.

Funny thing, I was no longer in a celebratory mood.  And, I was also by myself since my friends stuck with the original plan of walking the race and enjoying the journey. Standing there alone, questions started rolling in.  What just happened to me?  Where did that competitive urge come from?  Why did I feel compelled to keep others from passing me by?  How could I have ditched my friends to feed the growing feeling inside of me?  The answer?  I had fallen right into the comparison trap.  

As clearly demonstrated on that festive New Orleans morning, comparison can shift our focus. Like a thief, it sneaks in when we least expect, steals our confidence and robs us of self-acceptance.  When we compare our value to the value of someone else we usually find ourselves lacking.  Instead of being content with who we are and where we are in our own life, comparison has us looking at her haircut, her toned thighs, her put together kids, her shiny new SUV, her husband’s promotion, her flawless complexion, her fabulous vacation, on and on with endless options.  

Looking too long at her can spiral down into all kinds of ugly.  It definitely does not bring out the best in us.  In fact, the scripture calls comparison unwise—that’s a nice way of saying it’s just plain stupid!  For instance, comparison leads to jealousy.  There is nothing good about that, especially when it leads to bitterness and a critical spirit.  Leah and Rachel, two sisters whose story is found in Genesis 29 and 30, perfectly illustrate this downward progression.  Due to their trickster father and no fault of their own, they wound up married to the same man, Jacob.  It’s no secret that Jacob adored Rachel, leaving Leah unloved.  But God enabled Leah to give 

Jacob the one thing that Rachel could not—babies! Leah hoped that giving Jacob children would win his heart so that she would finally feel loved and valued.  Yet with every new birth, Rachel’s spirit of comparison intensified the jealousy toward her sister.  It led to her desperate demand of Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!”  Jacob defended himself saying, “Am I God?  He is the only one able to give you children!”  But rather than praying and waiting on God, Rachel came up with a plan.  She reasoned that if she gave Jacob her servant, Bilhah, and if Bilhah had kids, Rachel would take them as her own.  Isn’t it amazing what us women can come up with to make ourselves look and feel better about our lives?  Rachel’s cockeyed scheme got her what she wanted.  In fact, Bilhah had two sons, which thrilled Rachel making her think she was winning the baby race.  But not so.  Leah followed Rachel’s poor example and gave her servant, Zilpah, to Jacob to make more babies.  Phew! Talk about a blended family!  Eventually Jacob had 12 sons by 4 different women all because of jealousy.

Scripture is very clear about jealousy.  It wreaks havoc in our lives.  “For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and every kind of evil.” (James 3:16).  In talking to the immature believers at the church in Corinth, Paul says, “You are jealous of one another and quarrel with each other.  Doesn’t this prove you are controlled by your own desires?  You are acting like people who don’t belong to the Lord.”  Jealousy and selfish ambition (wanting what we want with little regard for others) are red flags for those of us who want to live as true examples of Christ.  They tell us we are comparing ourselves to someone or something else and we need to stop it.  We need to examine it, figure out the cause, and take it to the Lord so He can heal it. 

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Leah and Rachel’s story had a happy ending?  This unfortunate competition between them resulted in a bitter, broken relationship between sisters.  This was not God’s best for them.  It could have been so different.  Instead, it caused their children to be just like them.  Comparison and jealousy among their children lead to the betrayal of Joseph by his brothers.  Thankfully their story ended in forgiveness and reconciliation, a lesson they could have taught their mothers.

I’m thankful the sisters didn’t have social media, which of course, fuels a spirit of comparison.  Filters, lighting, cropping—it allows for deceptively perfect posts that threaten to deflate us and even infect us with a case of paranoia.  It’s easy to start thinking my posts look pathetic—my life is pathetic—I am pathetic!  This shame-based line of thinking leads many women into a depressed attitude of why try? and for some, why live?  The pressure and the lies, spinning in your brain repeatedly, not only steals your peace, joy, and contentment but worse than all that–the belief that God really loves you. Trust me, the enemy is doing a happy dance when he finally has you at this point of despair.  After all, this was his goal.  For Satan, whatever causes you and me to doubt the goodness of God gets chalked up as a win in his playbook.

It’s just not worth it. But it’s just not going to go away on its own.  So, how do we stop playing the comparison game? The important thing is that we make an intentional decision about how we’re going to react when we recognize it in our lives.  Here is a list of suggestions on how to deal when the temptation to compare is lurking around your heart.  

Give them a try.

  • Celebrate her blessings and successes.
  • Realize that you don’t know her back-story.  Until we really get to know someone, we see their put together self and their life highlights on Instagram but we don’t know what’s behind her smiling face. The truth is, everyone is going through something.
  • Embrace what you value. This is what brings meaning and purpose to your life. It is part of what makes you, you!  Beware of comparison diminishing what brings you joy and fuels your passion.
  • Pay attention to your self-talk. It’s a proven fact that our thoughts directly affect our feelings which can then affect our behavior. Listen to what you are saying to yourself. As scripture instructs us, take your negative thoughts captive—lock them up and throw away the key. Then replace them with positive thoughts.
  • Take a break from social media. This will help you wholeheartedly lean into your own story and concentrate on being the best you.
  • Practice gratitude. Keeping a gratitude journal will keep your heart attuned to the good in your life.
  • Grant grace to yourself and encouragement to others.
  • Compliment someone on the very thing that is tempting you to go green with jealousy.
  • Be your own kind of beautiful. Let’s be honest, women are the worst at comparing their looks. It’s very freeing when we embrace our unique look and learn to thank God for His perfect design for us.  
  • Change your audience. Make God your audience of One.  Let’s heed Paul’s words to the early church and set our minds on things above while fixing our eyes on Jesus.

When our eyes are in a love-lock with His, we won’t be looking around comparing ourselves to her! 

A friend recently shared this thought with me: A flower does not think of comparing itself with the flowers around it—it just blooms! Let’s do the same to the glory of God.