Dr. Pfanstiel operates Broken Arrow Pediatrics, which has provided care to children and families for decades now. As a parent who specifically sought out their office due to their reputation as doctors, Christians, and fantastic care—I really wanted to share their hearts with our readers. When you have an appointment with Dr. Pfanstiel, you come out with great healthcare but also nuggets of wisdom to help you be a better parent. Dr. Pfanstiel shared, “Part of what I bring into my practice is that I try to impart rather than teach from experiences. Dr. Terry and I both try to connect with our patients and their families. We probably both do it in a little bit different way, but we want to connect.” That connection demonstrated in their practice funnels into each patient’s life in a multitude of ways. So, now for a few of those nuggets!
I asked Dr. Pfanstiel his thoughts on the main ingredients for raising our children right in a Godly home. Without hesitation, he answered, “The key, I believe, to being a good parent in all cases is being there, being present with them in their lives and activities.” Dr. Pfanstiel emphasized the importance of prioritizing that “presence” for our kids and how that demonstrates our love for them. We all know it’s easy to get wrapped up in life, careers, and mile long to do lists just needed to get into bed. It’s pretty easy to get wrapped up in things that seem important (and maybe are important), but making time for things that matter plays a critical role in children’s lives. Sometimes we don’t realize how much it actually DOES mean to them.
“The key, I believe, to being a good parent in all cases is being there, being present with them in their lives and activities.”
As a busy doctor, Dr. Pfanstiel knows the demands of career as well as most. Being on call, needed in an emergency—these are just commonplace occurrences in his field taking you away from the family. He shared, “There was a movie several years back that really impacted me. It was based in West Virginia— ‘October Sky.’ The young boy in the movie built rockets in his backyard. He always invited his dad to come to his things, but his dad was a coal miner and couldn’t make it. Finally, when he was getting ready to make his big rocket launch, his father took off work and showed up. It was such a meaningful moment for the son for his dad to be there. Something in me just broke as I watched it.” Dr. Pfanstiel started to carve more of his own time out for his children. He continues to do that with his grandchildren today, as it was evident from all of the smiling family photographs. It’s time invested that builds relationships that last.
Dr. Pfanstiel and his wife, Roberta, raised 6 children. They have children in all sorts of meaningful careers making a difference in the world—doctor, lawyer, teacher, IT, police officer/military and Philip, business manager for the practice, who arranged the interview for me. Really, those kinds of paths for their children are evidence of the kind of character and walk with God their parents had. They learn from what they see. Dr. Pfanstiel shared, “We have to understand that everything we do and say is picked up. We don’t realize it sometimes. Just the gifts that they are (children), we believers would believe they are gifts from God. Each of us have our own experiences with our own background, our parents, our family, our heritage, our history that affect us. Those experiences reflect who we are and how we respond or act.” That’s certainly evident in the Pfanstiel children with all of their careers being impactful to society. They are positions making a difference in the lives of others. I wonder where they learned such traits? Dr. Pfanstiel gives all the credit to his wife Roberta, but it’s easy to tell that a great set of parents making right choices can make a difference in the future of their children. I agree. Being there for our kids just matters to them. It’s not always possible, but purposefully trying to make that time is incredibly impactful when you make it happen. Set your heart and mind on a mission to carve out time—plant those seeds, and watch your children grow!
Dr. Pfanstiel encourages families to think a little bit about just how busy they get. He said, “One thing we did, I would encourage people to do, I see a lot of these kids that are every quarter in some kind of event out there. I think that’s too much. The parent is just run, run, run. I think you need to have more time. We tried to limit our kids to one sport a year.” It’s pretty easy to fall into the “soccer mom” curse with kids in multiple seasons, multiple sports and little time to breathe as a family. His sage advice always makes me stop and listen whether we’re visiting him in the office as a patient or talking at an event. Maybe that’s because his family has such a legacy.
Dr. Pfanstiel has been in a solo practice since 1983 in the Tulsa/Broken Arrow area. Broken Arrow Pediatrics has been here for almost 13 years with Dr. Terry being with him every step of the way. The Pfanstiels landed in Tulsa after what felt like a direct call from God. While running a successful practice in North Carolina, his wife Roberta came to him and said that she felt God was calling them to move for Bible school at Rhema. Dr. Pfanstiel didn’t really hesitate. He made arrangements, packed their bags and headed west. He gives a lot of spiritual leadership credit to his wife, which fits with his history. “We were raised Lutheran. My wife came from a Presbyterian background. My mother was a spiritual leader then as is my wife now. I’m really thankful for that.” It’s clear that Dr. Pfanstiel has always appreciated the role of Godly women in both the household and the workplace. It definitely shows.
Dr. Pfanstiel said, “My wife survived six kids spending an hour or two with the Lord every morning. She says that’s what has taken her through. I’d leave at 6:00 or 6:30 in the morning but it was so important to know she was home with the kids. I didn’t worry about my kids.” “We both tried to be there for our kids events. It was an advantage of having a solo practice. I could say that I wasn’t working on a Thursday, because I had a soccer game.” Each of the kids, as adults, have been appreciative of the fact that we tried to be at their events.
As a father, he learned to balance between being the provider and being present in his own children’s lives. “I think the highlights are that along the way I looked at different avenues, but I wanted to be free to do it my way.” said Dr. Pfanstiel. That translated to having free time to spend with his kids when he needed it. It also included being able to pray with patients or discuss the Lord as was appropriate for the situation. Dr. Pfanstiel said, “Dr. Terry and I, I think we practice good medicine. Dr. Terry prays without everyone. I pray with some. Sometimes I’ll ask the older children that if I pray for them that they also pray for me. It just delights me.“ His dedication to following God, being a present father and husband, as well as play out in all that he touches.
Dr. Pfanstiel encourages family time for his patients. He said, “I try to encourage meals together. My wife kept the family together. I didn’t get home some nights until 7:30 at night and she would hold dinner for me so that we could have time together as a family. Those are events and moments that are kind of checklist, but I try to emphasize the things that I thought were good to families when I’m with my patients.”
In their home life, it seems Dr. Pfanstiel would come home to take on a role akin to Richard Pryor in “The Toy.” He shared, “I came home and played with the kids. Roberta would get us all packed up and ready, taking care of everything. I’m so thankful we were two. I’m so thankful she stuck with me.” It was clear their family had their own secret sauce in how they worked—but the key takeaways have lessons for all of the families in his care.
We were lucky to have one of Dr. Pfanstiel’s sons, Philip, in the room with us for the interview. Philip is a teacher as well as the practice’s business manager to name a few of his many hats. Philip recounted his life with his mom and dad working to make the kids a priority. He said, “I was always impressed by how they (office managers) would always get him out of the room (when he was with a patient). Now that I’m his business manager, I’m realizing that was a big deal.” Philip went on, “My parents always had time for us. They came to our events. We ate meals together. We went to church every single time the doors were open. We went to Sunday School. We went to church. We had wisdom searches or devotions on a routine basis.” It was easy to see what an impact his family’s decisions had made on him as a child and even as a father today.
Philip shared about how he and his siblings learned such valuable lessons from their parents. They really exemplified a life with Christ. Philip said, “As a father, the two things that have kinda stuck with me: Children spell love T-I-M-E and more is caught than taught.” He went on, “My parents walked the walk. They are both people of integrity. We saw how they reached out to people. We saw how they brought people into the home. We saw how they would give. My dad’s a doctor and he’s driving an old beat up car. He’s not gonna spend money on a car when he has kids. He’s gonna take care of us. You do what God’s called you to do. In his case, it meant giving up a good practice in Charlotte, NC to come to Rhema.” I heard a play by play list of exactly what discipling your children in Christ looks like in action.
Dr. Pfanstiel shared, “We built this practice with newborn babies. We would work at the local hospitals and get to know parents. Meet them. Try to address them and encourage them.” He continued, “I am where I’m supposed to be. I do try to touch father’s lives. I try to ask them what they think. I really try to let them know this is a special gift from God (being a father).” That’s my heart: Fathers, families, the Lord, giving kids goals to go for, being there for them.” He ended with this, “God doesn’t make any carbon copies. Everybody is unique. Everybody’s got a purpose. Everybody’s got a story and a history. Everybody’s got a reason to live. I see it that way and life’s special.”
I couldn’t agree more, as Broken Arrow Pediatrics is an incredible practice with two of the best pediatricians I know. They do their jobs with honor, while following Christ and imparting wisdom and experience to the families they see. They are about ministering. They are about families. They are living discipleship experts taking what God has put in them and sharing it with others. I can’t imagine a better purpose than that!